As parents we have an ability and even a responsibility to help our children to become confident. Confidence will lead them on the path to success.
Confidence is the belief in one’s ability to master your body, behaviour and the challenges you encounter in school, work and life generally. If our children believe in themselves, they will are willing to take more of the right kind of risks in life, accomplish their goals and accomplish more. Children who have good self esteem will find it easier to feel valued and accepted by family, friends and peers, they will be proud of a job well done and will feel good and thing good things about themselves and they will be more prepared for the challenges that they will face everyday.
None of us are born confident, it’s something we learn as we grow up and develop, regardless of a child’s situation or feelings. As parents we can help to improve our children’s self-confidence by giving them many opportunities to practice and master their skills. Let them make mistakes and be there to boost their spirits so they keep trying, even if they sometimes fail.
Have you heard the old Japanese saying, fall down 7 times get up 8.
These are some ideas as to what we can do to increase our children’s sense of self-worth
Create a wall of fame
Every child is good at something. Help them to discover it, encourage it and celebrate it by displaying it proudly for all to see. If your home is missing a wall of fame to celebrate their achievement your child is missing their moment of recognition. If you have a child who is not into team sports or athletic, try scouting/guiding. Everyone wins and everyone gets lots of badges. As children walk by their showcase, they can see at a glance five to ten years of achievement. This gives them a lift, especially during times when their self-confidence is faltering.
Try to expose your child to a wide variety of activities, and encourage them through the ups and downs when they find something they really love to do. Kids who have a passion — whether it’s Martial Arts, Theatre or Minecraft, justifiably feel proud of their expertise and skills and are more likely to be succeed in other things at both school and in life in general. Unusual hobbies may be particularly helpful for children who have a hard time mixing with other children at school. Try and use this hobby to help your child to interact with other children and develop friendships. For example, if your child likes to draw but most of the children in their class are into sports, encourage them to do drawing of the sports that their peers enjoy.
Focus on the Glass being Half Full
Help your child to be more optimistic and to look for positives and to continue to work hard towards their goals. Try to avoid offering glib reassurances to “look on the bright side,” or something like “don’t worry you didn’t really want to do that.” Instead encourage them to think about specific ways to improve a situation and bring them closer to their goals. For example if they are behind their classes in reading at school, offer to spend extra time with them reading their school books together. If they weren’t invited to grade this time, ask what they need to practice to be invited to grade next time and then spend some time working on it together to increase their chances of getting the result they desire next time.
Don’t forget also that the glass can be refilled, time and time again.
Watch something motivational to put things into perspective. Nick Vujicic and his positivity is a great example of what we should all aim for.
Don’t over praise your child
Everyone of us likes to be praised, but reserve it for real accomplishments, not just used as a figure of speech. If you tell your child that everything they do is “great” or “awesome” or “fantastic” then when things do get a little (or even a lot) tougher, they can be discouraged at having to face adversity.
What’s the secret to success? Hard work and lots of times things not going right and then the occasional success. The cycle repeats until the successes outweigh the failures. Then we move onto face the next challenge. Give old fashioned good honest praise when it is deserved and justified that way your child will feel good, they’ll learn to understand that hard work, spirit, effort, failures and achievement are all part of a natural cycle but one that they can conquer and receive just rewards.
Don’t give in to Fear
Sometimes we all get nervous or scared about doing something. It might be learning to drive, asking a potential partner out for a date, moving up a class in Martial Arts or starting a new job. Sometimes fear is a good thing and can help us to stay safe at other times fear can be a real limiter to our levels of success.
Fear shouldn’t be ignored, sometimes its a real valid and sensible response. Are you afraid of swimming in a rip tide at the beach, riding on a motorcycle with no protective wear, swimming in a pool with crocodiles in it, going to war, skydiving et al. There are many things to be justifiably afraid of, they are risky and often dangerous to life and limb. Fear in this case is a matter of self preservation. In some of these examples, although fear is felt, the action must still be taken, for example a solider on the battlefield generally has little choice as to whether to engage with the enemy, they have to to ‘just get on with it.’
Some kinds of fear we have to learn to recognise as not being fear of a physical outcome, but something far worse, a fear of failure or even embarrassment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson summed it up quite nicely ” What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”
Take the following examples:- The child that doesn’t want to try that new activity at school or has passed a new Martial Arts belt and now has to work with a more advanced group of pupils or where they previously loved an activity and now now longer want to do it. This is what, as parents we play the part of Sherlock Holmes and start investigating a little deeper. Ask them what they do in their activity, ask them what they enjoy and what they don’t enjoy. Compare notes with the coach or teacher and see if you can identify the real underlying issue. Is their enough fun in the activity, are they still still motivated, are others progressing faster than them. Are social pressures intervening, are friends asking them to do other things? Are the games consoles calling? Is the activity getting harder to do because your child has progressed and now they are being asked to further improve their skills.
Sometimes all it takes is a little constructive support from a child’s parents to help them overcome their nerves and worries and to move forward with more confidence and to set themselves up for later life.
What is Muay Thai?
It is a form of hard martial arts which is practised in areas like Thailand. It is the art of fighting without using any weapons. Muay Thai is thought to be a form of science as it develops discipline, knowledge and respect.
It is referred to as the Art of the Eight Limbs, as it uses: hands, shins, elbows and knees. Practitioners need to be able to use these limbs to execute strikes correctly instead of only using two areas which are usually fists and feet.
You have to practise Muay Thai with proper training because it can be dangerous if you do not know how to protect yourself properly. This martial art keeps you in good shape and improves blood circulation. If you practise Muay Thai regularly, your flexibility improves which then means that the bones, muscles and the use of the tendons in bending and moving all improve.
Muay Thai requires bravery as practitioners need to accept there is danger and pain which is involved in this sport. Muay Thai isn’t only used to gain physical appearance or skill, but improves the quality of life. This is due to: moral values and disciplines in life being taught to the practitioner, as well as to be modest, confident, and truthful and to avoid sins.
There are no major variations of Muay Thai, so virtually every style is the same – just minor techniques may differ.
This diagram shows some of the different techniques that Muay Thai incorporates.
What is Karate?
‘Karate is an unarmed combat that uses the hands and feet to give out techniques, and block them.’
An Asian system of unarmed combat using the hands and feet to deliver and block blows, widely practiced as a sport.
Karate was developed in Asia, as well as in India, China and Japan. Over the years, there have been many variations of Karate, so there are now hardly any people who practise ‘traditional’ Karate. They are many different associations and styles of karate from Shotokan to Wado Ryu to Shitoryu.
Karate is seen to be a way of life instead of a way to fight people. There are 3 areas of karate- Kumite, Kata and Kihon. Every practitioner needs to know every area and be able to effectively put them into practise.
It is one of the most dynamic martial arts, and a practitioner can use their mind and body together thus allowing the power and strength of both to work in perfect harmony. Karate isn’t about physical strength, it is about how mentally strong you are and how with the whole body working, the strength will come through.
The word Karate is the Japanese word for Open Hand. This symbolises that the main weapon is your body, instead of weapons you use, punches, kicks and blocks. Practitioners are aware of the world, and so they can react to any situation.
This diagram shows the different stances that are used in Karate.
Differences in the way Muay Thai and Karate are taught
Muay Thai teachers believe in passion and can sometimes lead their students to a fall due to their hard teaching ways. However, most Karate teachers treat their students with respect and try to help them to develop because Karate isn’t about how hard you can hit or hurt someone.
Muay Thai spends a lot of time on warming up and conditioning. This is because the martial art is mainly about fighting which can lead to injuries if your body is not prepared for the work or pain that can be caused. Karate however does spend time on warming up as obviously, no-one wants any injuries, but, the majority of lesson time will be spent on practising techniques to develop skill.
Muay Thai training is hard and high intensity all of the time. This is because they are preparing themselves for the fighting and the unexpected hits that could come at any time. On the other hand, Karate training can vary from being high or low intensity as you can work your body or your mind at different levels.
Muay Thai doesn’t have many variations unlike Karate. In Karate, there are many different styles and associations, so the differences between each one will be bigger than the differences between the Muay Thai variations.
In my opinion, from what I have researched, Muay Thai appears to be an aggressive martial art due to the focus being on fighting. On the other hand, it does teach you respect yourself, others and the world around you, but in a different way from Karate.
Karate appears to be more about defending yourself, and not starting fights. The focus is spread out between different areas which help practitioners to respect themselves and others. It also doesn’t appear to require brute force or strength to combat an opponent, but skill and mental awareness.