Warning about Sexting

Written by bryan. Posted in Self Defence

Recently Schools in Hampshire and Hampshire Police have been warning this week (9th December 2017) about the perils of sending inappropriate images and the possible consequences.

 

This is a topic that we frequently cover in Self Protection classes at the club, but the advice bears repeating online and documenting again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

According to research by the children’s charity Barnardo’s

“Last year alone police recorded 9,290 accusations of sexual offences where both the perpetrator and victim were under 18. This compares to 5,215 accusations being made in 2013, representing a 78 per cent rise.”

 

It’s worth remembering that although the age of consensual sexual intercourse is 16 it remains illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to take, possess, distribute or show anyone an abusive or indecent image.

If an under 18 takes a photograph of themselves and sends that to another under 18, then they have committed an offence, if the recipient keeps the image then they also have committed an offence.  Solicitor Sandra Paul from Kingsley Napley LLP advises If this matter is brought to the Police/Courts attention when either party is over 18 years old, then that party will be treated as an adult even of they were under 18 at the time of the offence.  If an image is sent between over 18s whilst this in itself may not be illegal, if the image is unwanted there can still be ramifications for harassment or blackmail.

There are cases where children as young as 10 years old have received a formal Police caution for sending pictures of himself to an 11 year old girl. Last year (2016) in November, Police issued guidance that they would treat cases sensitively and not seek to criminalise young people. They also noted the factors that they would consider in determining whether a criminal prosecution was appropriate including considering the long term side affects for the offender which included being placed on the sex offenders register. The advice given was that all offences of this nature had to be included for home office ‘counting’ purposes. Rather than being charged or cautioned with an offence (which will show up on any future DBS checks) an offender may be given a ‘Outcome 21’ which does not necessarily mean that the offence has to be reported to the DBS, rather it is at the discretion of the Chief Constable for each force. An ‘Outcome 21’ is best described as an offence committed which the Police believe has a strong probability of successful prosecution if carried forward, but which they believe is not in the public interest to prosecute.

As parents we sometimes forget how easily pornography is accessible on a smart phone, tablet or computer and because of this how desensitised our children can become to that. They then forget how dangerous and what the consequences are it they send images of themselves. As a parent you also have to decide if you should ‘keep an eye’ on your child’s devices and social media accounts with ‘sport checks’ to review them. Sure your children aren’t going to appreciate that, but can if help to keep them safe? Yes.

Summary Notes

Sexting is the sending or receiving of sexually explicit images, videos or texts. According to a NSPCC/ChildLine poll “6 out of 10 teenagers say they have been asked for sexual images or videos.” This affects children from Primary school upwards.

Under British law it is legal to have sexual intercourse aged 16, but it is illegal and a serious criminal offence to take, hold or share “indecent” photos of anyone aged under 18. Remember it isn’t normal to do this and it is against the law.

Once an image or video has been sent, the sender is no longer in control of where it ends up. With parents, friends, teachers and even employers able to see that image for a long time after it was sent. It can lead to you being blackmailed or exploited by others, bullied and being embarrassed or humiliated.

According to the BBC, Sexting is on the increase amongst teenagers and is also spreading to primary schools. The NSPCC helpline is reporting nearly  a 30% increase in calls regarding this.

  1. Never be pressured into sending explicit videos or images of yourself or anyone else
  2. If someone tries to pressure you to sext, then immediately tell a responsible adult
  3. Remember private messages or even online storage systems aren’t 100% secure, don’t store confidential information where it can easily be ‘hacked.’
  4. Don’t allow anyone to ‘remotely take over’ your PC or mobile device
  5. Tell an adult if you’ve been asked to sext, they can help you.
  6. Parent talk to your kids about the perils of Sexting. Ignore is no excuse in the eyes of the law.

 

Further Resources

NSPCC

Childline

National Crime Agency

 

 

 

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5 Tips for raising a confident child – Self Defence 101

Written by bryan. Posted in Self Defence, Uncategorized

As parents we have an ability and even a responsibility to help our children to become confident. Confidence will lead them on the path to success.

Confidence is the belief in one’s ability to master your body, behaviour and the challenges you encounter in school, work and life generally. If our children believe in themselves, they will are willing to take more of the right kind of risks in life, accomplish their goals and accomplish more. Children who have good self esteem will find it easier to feel valued and accepted by family, friends and peers, they will be proud of a job well done and will feel good and thing good things about themselves and they will be more prepared for the challenges that they will face everyday.

None of us are born confident, it’s something we learn as we grow up and develop, regardless of a child’s situation or feelings. As parents we can help to improve our children’s self-confidence by giving them many opportunities to practice and master their skills. Let them make mistakes and be there to boost their spirits so they keep trying, even if they sometimes fail.

Have you heard the old Japanese saying, fall down 7 times get up 8.

 

These are some ideas as to what we can do to increase our children’s sense of self-worth

Create a wall of fame

Every child is good at something. Help them to discover it, encourage it and celebrate it by displaying it proudly for all to see. If your home is missing a wall of fame to celebrate their achievement your child is missing their moment of recognition. If you have a child who is not into team sports or athletic, try scouting/guiding. Everyone wins and everyone gets lots of badges. As children walk by their showcase, they can see at a glance five to ten years of achievement. This gives them a lift, especially during times when their self-confidence is faltering.

Nurture their special interests

Try to expose your child to a wide variety of activities, and encourage them through the ups and downs when they find something they really love to do. Kids who have a passion — whether it’s Martial Arts, Theatre or Minecraft, justifiably feel proud of their expertise and skills and are more likely to be succeed in other things at both school and in life in general. Unusual hobbies may be particularly helpful for children who have a hard time mixing with other children at school.  Try and use this hobby to help your child to interact with other children and develop friendships. For example, if your child likes to draw but most of the children in their class are into sports, encourage them to do drawing of the sports that their peers enjoy.

Focus on the Glass being Half Full

Help your child to be more optimistic and to look for positives and to continue to work hard towards their goals. Try to avoid offering glib reassurances to “look on the bright side,” or something like “don’t worry you didn’t really want to do that.” Instead encourage them to think about specific ways to improve a situation and bring them closer to their goals. For example if they are behind their classes in reading at school, offer to spend extra time with them reading their school books together. If they weren’t invited to grade this time, ask what they need to practice to be invited to grade next time and then spend some time working on it together to increase their chances of getting the result they desire next time.

Don’t forget also that the glass can be refilled, time and time again.

Watch something motivational to put things into perspective. Nick Vujicic and his positivity is a great example of what we should all aim for.

 

Don’t over praise your child

Everyone of us likes to be praised, but reserve it for real accomplishments, not just used as a figure of speech. If you tell your child that everything they do is “great” or “awesome” or “fantastic” then when things do get a little (or even a lot) tougher, they can be discouraged at having to face adversity.

What’s the secret to success? Hard work and lots of times things not going right and then the occasional success. The cycle  repeats until the successes outweigh the failures. Then we move onto face the next challenge. Give old fashioned good honest praise when it is deserved and justified that way your child will feel good, they’ll learn to understand that hard work, spirit, effort, failures and achievement are all part of a natural cycle but one that they can conquer and receive just rewards.

Don’t give in to Fear

Sometimes we all get nervous or scared about doing something. It might be learning to drive, asking a potential partner out for a date, moving up a class in Martial Arts or starting a new job. Sometimes fear is a good thing and can help us to stay safe at other times fear can be a real limiter to our levels of success.

Fear shouldn’t be ignored, sometimes its a real valid and sensible response. Are you afraid of swimming in a rip tide at the beach, riding on a motorcycle with no protective wear, swimming in a pool with crocodiles in it, going to war, skydiving et al. There are many things to be justifiably afraid of, they are risky and often dangerous to life and limb.  Fear in this case is a matter of self preservation. In some of these examples, although fear is felt, the action must still be taken, for example a solider on the battlefield generally has little choice as to whether to engage with the enemy, they have to to ‘just get on with it.’

Some kinds of fear we have to learn to recognise as not being fear of a physical outcome, but something far worse, a fear of failure or even embarrassment.

Ralph Waldo Emerson summed it up quite nicely ” What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”

Take the following examples:- The child that doesn’t want to try that new activity at school or has passed a new Martial Arts belt and now has to work with a more advanced group of pupils or where they previously loved an activity and now now longer want to do it. This is what, as parents we play the part of Sherlock Holmes and start investigating a little deeper. Ask them what they do in their activity, ask them what they enjoy and what they don’t enjoy. Compare notes with the coach or teacher and see if you can identify the real underlying issue. Is their enough fun in the activity, are they still still motivated, are others progressing faster than them. Are social pressures intervening, are friends asking them to do other things? Are the games consoles calling? Is the activity getting harder to do because your child has progressed and now they are being asked to further improve their skills.

Sometimes all it takes is a little constructive support from a child’s parents to help them overcome their nerves and worries and to move forward with more confidence and to set themselves up for later life.

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Ladies Only Self Defence and Free Fitness Classes

Written by bryan. Posted in Self Defence

ladies self defence, self defence, womens groups, womans groups, Basingstoke Self Protection, Basingstoke self Defence,

 

Self Defence is an emotive topic with  many people thinking they don’t need it. Hopefully they are correct. We’ve covered a number of the key points to consider when looking at one’s own self protection. They are available on the following page:- http://www.basingstokekarate.com/self-protection-self-defence-and-anti-bullying/

 

In our Self Defence course held at our Martial Arts club in Basingstoke:-

Our experienced female coaches will during the 8 week LADIES ONLY SELF DEFENCE course take you through a number of important areas so that by the end of the course, you will understand:-

– What self defence actually is
– The soft skills necessary for self protection
– The physical skills necessary for self protection

Learn how to…

– Assess and avoid danger
– Read the signs of an imminent attack
– Understand The Law and Self Protection
– Know how your attitude affects self protection
– Recognise and Protect your danger zones
– Defend against the most common methods of assault against women
– Defend against weapons

 

The cost of the course is £39 and includes free fitness classes for the duration of the course. These classes are http://www.basingstokekarate.com/body-combat/ and http://www.basingstokekarate.com/zumba/

 

For further information please call 01256 364104 or if you would like to book to go onto the course, please use this link http://www.basingstokekarate.com/store/#!/~/product/category=3924156&id=32815890

 

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Martial Arts Standards Agency British Judo British Council for Chinese Martial Arts – National Governing Body The World Union of Karate Federations Shi Kon Martial Arts British Council for Chinese Martial Arts – National Governing Body

Contact Us

Telephone (01256) 364104.

Email: info@basingstokekarate.com.

Shin Gi Tai Martial Arts Academy,
The Annex @ ITT Industries,
Jays Close,
Basingstoke,
RG22 4BA